What (Really) is Coaching? Top 5 Coaching Myths – and the Realties We All Need

Today, many of us looking for the next step forward in growth, performance and personal or professional ambition are turning to coaching for assistance. Although the genuine interest to move closer to your goals is sound, many of the underlying assumptions about coaching and the coaching process are not. Here are five misleading myths, accompanied by more helpful insights that can put you on a more rewarding track, and move you even closer to achieving your goals:

Myth #5: “It’s like an athletic coach.”

Coaching is Reflective not Directive

When we think of a “coach,” we too often think of a person with athletic shorts and a whistle in their mouth: an authority figure whose role is to push, cajole or even intimidate us into some desirable behavior. In this context, to coach is often seen as to instruct, to direct, to demand.

But outside of sports (and maybe, if the athletic coach is genuinely skilled in the coaching process, inside sports as well), real coaching is not directive, it’s reflective. An effective coach doesn’t tell you what to do, but encourages you to reflect on your goals, identify your strengths and recognize the values that matter to you. Focus on the Client’s Agenda is one of the Four Guiding Principles stressed during the highly esteemed Columbia University Coaching Program.

There is indeed a place and a need for athletic coaches. And it is those coaches that combine both the directive and reflective approaches that have the greatest and most lasting impact on their players. This happens when the players ultimately derive the answers from within.

Myth #4: “Anybody can be a coach.”

Sure, and just about anybody can throw a ball, but that doesn’t make us all baseball players. It’s true that anyone can call themselves a “coach,” but when you’re looking for meaningful support and an impactful partnership, you have to peek behind the curtains. Too often, a coach is confused with a consultant, mentor, advisor, manager, or even a friend. A coach can embody elements of these functions, but the coaching process differs greatly and merits its own specialized training path. There are currently no requirements for somebody to call him or herself a coach. In the not-too-distant future, I predict accredited training will be mandatory. At a minimum, those sourcing coaches to introduce to an executive will require that the coach has the requisite training.

Investment in training forms an essential leg of a table that supports an effective coaching practice for clients who take their ambitions seriously. I urge you to seek coaches who have demonstrated a serious commitment to coaching and the science behind the coaching conversation and the process more broadly by submitting themselves to 3rd party certification or accreditation.  

Myth #3: “The coach is the expert.”

No, you’re the expert. You are the expert of your life.  No one knows you, your strengths and weaknesses, your ambitions and values, the way you do.

In successful client/coach partnerships, coaches and clients form an egalitarian relationship that assumes clients are capable, creative and the experts in their lives. The true coach’s expertise is in the research-based process, a tested, rational method for behavior change and self-directed growth. The trained coach holds up a mirror in which the client can make observations and trigger realizations that empower them to make lasting change from the only place where lasting change can emerge: within!

Myth #2: “Coaching is for the weak.”

Times have changed. In the previous century, coaches were occasionally brought on board to provide remedial support to professionals in need.

The model has flipped. Today, coaching has become more of a badge of honor than a scarlet letter; it’s a recognition that a talented person merits further investment. When I meet with clients, the issue is not about lifting them from failure, but instead about amplifying their success. Coaching is for those who have or want to develop a vision for their career - or their life more broadly - and want to increase the chances of achieving that envisioned future.  Coaching is for the strong who want to become stronger.  

Myth #1: “I don’t have a problem, so I won’t benefit from coaching.”

Maybe you don’t have a problem or a challenge you are facing. Although I would challenge that you don’t find yourself at some time of inflection point as you read this. Where a decision or an action can determine in which direction you head. There is probably something of great importance you want to achieve. And if you believe that you have possibilities that haven’t been fulfilled or potential that hasn’t been fully realized, then you are an excellent candidate to enter a coaching partnership. Ultimately, the real question is whether there is more to you, your life and your ambitions than what you are satisfied with today. If you can answer “yes,” you’ve already said yes to coaching.

Coaching is for those who want more.

The coaching partnership can be a transformative one, especially when working in partnership with a trained coach. You will feel heard, validated, empowered, and supported. You will give yourself the gift of time, space, and the freedom to ask and seek answers to powerful questions. You will gain additional clarity and feel more confident in your decisions. Your actions will take on more intentionality. The coaching partnership can increase the chances that the journey will yield the desirable and meaningful outcomes that you seek.